Blogging on Blogs

Vent time: There are SOOOO many blog posts that pop up on my social media feeds everyday about how to live your life. These can range from how to love, how to feel, what you should be, where you should visit. I’ll be the first to admit I indulge in these blog posts like I indulge in reality television; both items I consider a guilty pleasure. In the back of our minds we’re always comparing our lives to the ones we read about or the ones in movies or on t.v..

So I know what you’re thinking – blah blah blah it doesn’t influence me blah blah blah. I’d like to think the same thing, but is that really true? I’m getting married in March (ah so soon) and I find myself divulging in all of these blogs and even questioning my decisions; is this the right time to get married? Maybe I’m too young. No I’m in love! Oh look at this blog that tells me he’s a keeper, he matches 70% of this bull shit so must be true. Screw that. NOBODY HAS THE ANSWERS ON HOW YOU SHOULD LIVE YOUR LIFE. My theory? Just live your freaking life. Live in the present, sometimes worry about the future, and you know what-it’ll all work itself out. Doesn’t matter where you travel, doesn’t matter what other people think. No two stories are the same. Everyone has a million and one different paths they can take and there is no way in all holy hell that anyone will be able to foresee what you should do or when you should do it. 

So my list for ten things to do in your twenties? Stop reading a fucking list and live your life how you want to live it.

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Love or Loss?

As she wandered through the halls she looked from her left to her right. How could everyone else be so happy when she was so lonely? Chatter filled the air, sweet whispers to a loved one and giggles at an inside joke. She knew that this weekend could change everything. 

…”How was your break?”

It was great, how was yours?”

“Well, not so great. My Dad passed away and seeing how much it affected my Mom really got me thinking about some things I would like to have in my life.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do?”

“Yes actually. You can go on a date with me this weekend.”

“What? Are you serious?”

“Yeah, why not? It could be fun, right?”…

The conversation played over and over in her mind. What had he meant? She didn’t even know that he thought of her at all, never mind enough to take her on a date. 

Saturday came and went. The day had been everything that she hoped for. She knew that telling him now would be her last chance. 

“There hasn’t been one day that I have not loved you. I have loved you since the first time we spoke. Maybe even before that. Do you feel the same way about me?”

He looked away before he responded. 

“Actually…” 

…To be continued…

My thoughts exactly.

My thoughts exactly.

I have never found a blog post that more accurately describes how I am feeling about my profession right now. Even more aggravating were some of the comments on it. Very well written; in the future when someone asks me why I don’t want to teach anymore I will simply make them read this. 

Choice of Happiness.

What does happiness look like to me?

Every second of every day people are trying to figure out what makes them happy. We’re all taught the cliches of happiness at a very young age; love, money, success, family. So why then, are finding these things so difficult for all of us? The issue with happiness and what it should look like is that happiness is made out to be such a complicated quest. The reality of the matter is that happiness can be found in the smallest memory, or even the shortest moment.

Happiness, to me, is waking up every morning next the person I love more than anything in this world. Happiness is made even sweeter with my morning cup of coffee. Happiness is cuddling with my puppy and talking to him as though he will miraculously respond back to me someday. Happiness is hugging each of my family members as though it could be the last hug we ever share. Happiness is telling my family how much I love them. Happiness is looking the the mirror and knowing that I am growing up to be my mother’s daughter. Happiness is an inside joke with the closest of friends. Happiness is all around me. Happiness, most importantly of all, is a choice.

Each day we need to choose to be happy. There are so many clouds in our life that could take away happiness. Negativity, doubt, fear, dishonesty; the scariest of all of this is that our biggest cloud (or obstacle) can be ourselves. Herein lies the complication of happiness. We can choose to be happy or we can choose sadness. Every second of every day we must make the choice to be happy. Only then can true happiness exist.

This time.

I started this blog months ago in the hope that it would inspire me to quit my job and pursue my dreams. I have always been afraid of the unknown and of risk in general. I went to school, crossed my t’s and dotted my i’s, and always did what I was told. I took the easy route in school, getting my degree in secondary education. In my mind, I thought that education was the way to go because it was stable and meant that I would be able to always have a job (which in this ever-failing economy is a blessing). I knew that I would be able to read writing pieces and discuss literature everyday with my students, so I could get my creative fill in their ever blossoming love of literature. Boy was I wrong. 

The education system in our country is flawed, not because of the teachers, but because of the new mentality of our society. We need everything RIGHT NOW and if we don’t get our way, we complain until we do. Parents do not allow their students to take responsibility because before they can even get a word in, the parent has fought their battles for them. This is not the world that I was raised in. If I got in trouble in school (a rarity) my mother would ask me what did YOU do wrong, not, why was your teacher picking on you?! How dare she!!!! 

So my new friends, what is the reason for this rant you ask? To inform the universe that someone who was once inspired by the idea and realm of education has now been destroyed by complaints and criticism. I have a love for literature that I will not allow to be tarnished by GPA’s and school acceptance letters. 

This year it is my goal to find a new profession that will allow me to truly flex my creative muscles. In searching for this, I also have the goal to blog daily (weekly at the least) in order to remind myself of why I am doing all of this. 

Stay creative world. Don’t let society’s ideas and social norms drag you down. 

individualism i…

individualism is wealth of the heart and mind and not of the pocket.

I read this quote in a recent reflective essay that was written by one of my students. It really spoke to me. He used this quote to describe his passion, which is creative art and graphic design. The essay was a phenomenal piece and has really inspired me to continue the pursuit of my dream, which is to live in my art.